Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Insecure Writer's Support Group



I found this "blog hop" sort of group a month ago, LITERALLY on the first Thursday of the month.  I WOULD find this and have to wait a month to participate next (beyond reading through a few of the blogs involved).

First thing I try to think through on a mere 2 cups of coffee is what do I think "insecure" means.  It's all encompassing.  I feel that any emotion that I am not wanting to be having, particularly anything I deem negative, falls into the "insecure" category.

How does my writing fit in?  Let me count the ways...

Shame: Because it's a horrid thing to not be able to fit in any writing in my busy day.
Guilt: Goes hand-in-hand with the shame.
Paranoia:  OMG, what will people think of me when I start writing shit, let alone READ my shit!?
Confidence: Or lack thereof, also goes with all of the above.
Overwhelmed: 17 tabs open in my Chrome browser with 20 minutes left before I need to get ready for work.
Laziness: More of an action, but hell, that extra 30 minutes laying in bed this morning was wonderful.

I can go on, but like I mentioned.... 20 minutes until I need to get ready for work.

I made some AWESOME progress over the weekend between non-writing errands and to-dos (I finally have clean underwear!), 3-day weekends help with that.  So by the time Monday rolled around, I put a nice dent into the blogs, articles, and guides I have wanted to read regarding planning my writing.  I found a method I am going to try.  Now it's just making myself do it.  Why is that always so hard?!  I'll spend 3 hours screwing around on Kongregate, but I can't sit on the couch and write?  Doesn't help when Adam points out to me that Rift is now free-to-play; by the way, my World of Warcraft subscription finally ended, and I already haven't been on in weeks before that.  I was doing so well!!!

I know, it's practice.  Making the habit.  Just sit and write for 10 minutes a day.  Add 10 more.  Keep going to an hour eventually, or whatever I can fit within the parameters of my full-time job.  What I hate, and I shared this with a friend over the weekend, is planning to write for 10 minutes, or an hour, or whatever, and it ends up taking me that same amount of time to come up with something to write.  Ding!  Time's up!  Need to make something for dinner!  Break's over, time to go back to the job!

Can you tell I over think?  Yes, writing prompts.  Those are nice.  I've posted a few here previously.  But that damn over-thinking is my downfall.  "A guy walks into a Tarot Card reader spot."  I don't know shit about Tarot cards.  So the 10 minutes dedicated to that is just me trying to think of a damn Tarot Card or what the hell the person I have in my head is doing in there.  "Well just write that he thinks that and immediately leaves."  Yeah but then that kinda puts the kabash on that writing prompt.  It said "Tarot Card place," not "bus ride back to the bar."

Add "over think" onto that list above.






15 comments:

  1. 17 tabs open in your browser? *whistles* You are one multi-talented woman! Which, with such creativity and drive, determines that you WILL achieve your writing goals. Trust me. The Nose knows.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Glad I made it sound like I was multi-tasking. Dara's Secret: those are just on my to-do! :)

      Delete
  2. Trust the nose, Dara. Because I know the Nose knows. LOL. I over think too, so I think you'll be fine. Your fears are universal, and I'm here to tell you, they seldom leave completely. Hang in there. You're not alone.

    I'm guest hosting today, and I'm very glad to meet you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nicely done.

    Um, am I supposed to list the entire blog hop? It's a good idea... I better go read the directions again...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had a bit of a hard time making sure I added that part correctly, especially since that's how others can literally hop around to other blogs. The code is short, just make sure you put it into the actual HTML and not just your text. :)

      Delete
  4. I constantly have too many tabs open in my browser too... I feel your pain.

    I think it took me until I was in my 30's to say I'm a writer, too. It took me four years to kick my addiction that was getting in my way of writing: TV watching Now I can't stand tv, unless its Friday and its on tivo where I can scan through the commercials.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh man, with football season just starting, my once-available weekends are now going to be packed with writing and football. Can you imagine the chaos?

      "So-and-so waves her magic staff and TOUCHDOWN BEARS!!!!!"

      Delete
  5. Last night I was going to write my IWSG post but ended up watching Bad Girls Club. Sometimes life (or Bad Girls Club) gets in the way. Don't beat yourself up! Besides, NaNoWriMo is coming up. You could always start your novel then:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am in some serious plan/prep for NaNo! I last tried it in 2005 or 2006 and rage quit after 13k. Not this year!

      Delete
  6. I know this feeling well - planning to write, then doing everything you can to avoid it or sitting down and having nothing to say! You are in good company. =)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Overthink. Yeppers. I do that all the time.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Welcome to the IWSG. It's a great group of people, and you'll find that most of us suffer from most if not all of your insecurities. I have all of them except for the shame.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Welcome to the IWSG! You are in the right place.
    I'm a lazy writer and it takes events like NaNoWriMo to get me to finish anything. But I don't like to lose, so I get it done. Maybe something like that would help?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Yeah, I'm with you...I can mess around on Facebook and find a million and one things to Pin on pinterest (including motivational quotes about writing!)But when it's time to just write, sometimes its hard. Welcome to IWSG!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm also big on over thinking. I've been writing for almost half my life, but I still struggle with the "just sit down and write" thing. There are a million and one things to distract me when I've got that precious time to scribble down some words and, darn it, I allow myself to be distracted by every single one of them.

    It's tough. It's a constant struggle. But when you finally figure it out, when you're finally able to ignore the distractions, turn off your over-analytical brain, and just write...it's so worth it.

    Good luck and welcome to IWSG!

    ReplyDelete