Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Insecure Writer's Support Group
I found this "blog hop" sort of group a month ago, LITERALLY on the first Thursday of the month. I WOULD find this and have to wait a month to participate next (beyond reading through a few of the blogs involved).
First thing I try to think through on a mere 2 cups of coffee is what do I think "insecure" means. It's all encompassing. I feel that any emotion that I am not wanting to be having, particularly anything I deem negative, falls into the "insecure" category.
How does my writing fit in? Let me count the ways...
Shame: Because it's a horrid thing to not be able to fit in any writing in my busy day.
Guilt: Goes hand-in-hand with the shame.
Paranoia: OMG, what will people think of me when I start writing shit, let alone READ my shit!?
Confidence: Or lack thereof, also goes with all of the above.
Overwhelmed: 17 tabs open in my Chrome browser with 20 minutes left before I need to get ready for work.
Laziness: More of an action, but hell, that extra 30 minutes laying in bed this morning was wonderful.
I can go on, but like I mentioned.... 20 minutes until I need to get ready for work.
I made some AWESOME progress over the weekend between non-writing errands and to-dos (I finally have clean underwear!), 3-day weekends help with that. So by the time Monday rolled around, I put a nice dent into the blogs, articles, and guides I have wanted to read regarding planning my writing. I found a method I am going to try. Now it's just making myself do it. Why is that always so hard?! I'll spend 3 hours screwing around on Kongregate, but I can't sit on the couch and write? Doesn't help when Adam points out to me that Rift is now free-to-play; by the way, my World of Warcraft subscription finally ended, and I already haven't been on in weeks before that. I was doing so well!!!
I know, it's practice. Making the habit. Just sit and write for 10 minutes a day. Add 10 more. Keep going to an hour eventually, or whatever I can fit within the parameters of my full-time job. What I hate, and I shared this with a friend over the weekend, is planning to write for 10 minutes, or an hour, or whatever, and it ends up taking me that same amount of time to come up with something to write. Ding! Time's up! Need to make something for dinner! Break's over, time to go back to the job!
Can you tell I over think? Yes, writing prompts. Those are nice. I've posted a few here previously. But that damn over-thinking is my downfall. "A guy walks into a Tarot Card reader spot." I don't know shit about Tarot cards. So the 10 minutes dedicated to that is just me trying to think of a damn Tarot Card or what the hell the person I have in my head is doing in there. "Well just write that he thinks that and immediately leaves." Yeah but then that kinda puts the kabash on that writing prompt. It said "Tarot Card place," not "bus ride back to the bar."
Add "over think" onto that list above.